“You go, ‘Is this the rest of my life living like this — spending a lot of money every fortnight on my mortgage?'”
“We both recognised that there were problems that predate the buying of the house or the moving to suburbia, but I do think that was a contributing factor and expedited the breakup.”
Deciding between your community and affordable housing
Housing prices have forced young couples to seek cheaper prices away from the city, according to InfoTrack’s property market update. It tallies the most popular suburbs first home buyers bought in recently.
More young couples are forced to buy in the “fringes”, like in Sydney’s Ambarvale, near Campbelltown. Source: Getty / Andrew Merry
The mean price for a dwelling in Australia’s combined cities is $959,300, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. It rose more than $14,000 in the March quarter.
In 2019, 32 per cent of houses within 20km of the Sydney CBD were deemed “affordable” by the PRD Affordable and Liveable Property Guides, which takes into account suburbs that have a median price below the relevant capital city metro area. That number, as of June, is down to 11 per cent. In Melbourne, the number has fallen from 61 per cent to 24 per cent over that period.
She said relationships can be strained when couples feel they’ve lost their belonging and sense of self from leaving social hubs.
Dr Julia Cook, a youth sociologist from the University of Newcastle said young couples are increasingly facing the decision of whether to relocate to afford a home. Source: Supplied
“They move away from places where they had good infrastructure and there was a sort of character to the area and they felt that they identified with it.”
John said losing access to nearby nature spots, cafes and a bustling community affected them as individuals before it affected their relationship.
Young couples having to adjust to moving to outer suburbs is a phenomenon that will likely affect more people due to housing prices, according to Cook.
Couples alone cannot meet each other’s social needs
“We lived in a really fun area and there were always things we could do. We could always go for a nice walk, go to a cafe or a bar or shop somewhere nice. We always felt like we were in the thick of things — and that maybe made things a little bit more exciting.”
House prices in Australia have tripled while wages have only increased by 50 per cent. Source: SBS
Relationships Australia NSW CEO and clinical psychologist Elisabeth Shaw said relocating to new suburbs can create a sense of tension between couples.
“They could find themselves surprisingly isolated and in that context could even start to feel disappointed in each other or themselves or move straight to regretting the decision,” Shaw said.
“It could be you’ve got a local barista that knows you or a neighbour that gets your bins in, but there is something about being known, being visible, a certain sense of reciprocity that occurs in communities — all of those sorts of little interconnections are remarkably valuable,” Shaw said.
A system ‘setting couples up for failure’
“There has to be a renegotiation of your lifestyle … of your relationship, how we identify as a couple, how we get along together, the types of things that we do together in the home and in the community and so on,” Allen said.
The median cost of a three-bedroom house in Sydney rose by 26.4 per cent between March 2023 and March 2024. Source: SBS
“Housing, like climate change, like gender equality and the cost of living, are presenting insurmountable barriers [to] success. And so as a result, we’re seeing young people really being denied the right to be human.”
She said suburbs must include amenities and essential infrastructure to support young people, so they’re not having to leave their neighbourhoods to work or socialise.
“These are discussions for the future.”