Meredyth is warning young women to be weary of the pitfalls of being a ‘trad wife’ (traditional wife), like she once was.
“They’re not getting the whole view,” she told The Feed.
On TikTok, she warns her audience, “I, being 51, I am one of the first or second generations of women being traditional, stay-at-home wives, who are coming out saying, ‘Don’t do this to yourself’.”
‘Trad wives’ (short for traditional wives or traditional women) believe in traditional gender roles, and prioritise homemaking and motherhood over careers.
“We’ve proved that we can have the kids, we can have the career – we can do it all,” Australian trad wife, Kelsey Thom, told .
“And a lot of women [have decided], ‘I’m just as fulfilled being at home, having a beautiful husband and a couple of children and taking care of them … and being a homemaker.”
Trad wife influencers have now emerged on TikTok. They share insights into their daily lives, including a priority of “submitting” to their husbands and dedicating life to motherhood and homemaking. While many are American, Australian trad wife influencer Jasmine Dinis has nearly 200,000 followers across her social media profiles.
Some women warn: ‘don’t do this to yourself’
But Meredyth is one of several women on TikTok trying to warn young women that the life of a traditional wife is not all baking bread and gardening – as it can appear on social media. And that it could leave them destitute.
“People my age — women that are in their 40s or 50s — that have raised their children, who have been traditional wives, are coming forward,” Meredyth said on TikTok.
“And [they have] realised that they threw 20 years of optimal, available, could-have-been energy into the workforce; into their future – they threw that away doing laundry and watching their kids.”
She and other self-proclaimed former trad wives tell tales on TikTok of dedicating their lives to homemaking and motherhood, only to find themselves without an education, work experience, housing or financial security upon divorce.
While many of these women are American, The Feed has spoken with one young Australian woman who identifies with becoming a traditional wife as a late teen, and said she was submissive to her husband. She is now gaining a higher education in her mid-twenties following her separation and encourages women to maintain some financial independence when marrying.
Modern content that yearns for yesteryear
Trad wife content has gained traction online over the last 12 months, spurred in some part by the success of content creators such as Nora Smith, Ballerina Farm and Australian content creator Jasmine Dinis. Some have gained large audiences for sharing snippets of their lives as a ‘modern day traditional wife’.
Trad wife influencers might cook meals from scratch (Nora Smith even makes and , often while wearing evening gowns), they play in nature with their children, some home school their kids, some share insights about being free of “the corporate ladder”, and others mention voting in line with their husband’s opinion.
“Real men aren’t looking for a women who can bring in money and have a successful career,” Australian trad wife influencer Jasmine Dinis writes to her TikTok audience.
“They want a woman who can bring value into the home by the work of her hands. A woman who values her role in the home as a wife and a mother. That role is irreplaceable.”
Trad wife content is taking off in tight economic times
“Part of why [trad wife content creators have] been so successful [is] they’re selling this escapist fantasy,” said Ruby Alexander, who published a Masters of Philosophy on the parallel movements of trad wives and birth strikers.
“The reality of it is that it’s financially inaccessible for the majority of women because it’s not really possible for a family or a couple, or an individual even, to survive on one salary in the cost of living crisis.”
She said trad wife content monopolises on a nostalgia Western countries have for the 1950s as a “[perceived] perfect era” when women are assumed to have had more time to spend with children, and not expected to work, but adds “that’s a contested history”.
“The 1950s housewife was only accessible to upper and middle-class white women,” she said.
Some trad wife content is also linked to alt right and right-wing ideologies, says Ruby, and that it draws on ideas of natural femininity.
Trad wives say it’s not for everyone
Some trad wife influencers have noticed the criticism and say they are not forcing their perspective onto others.
“No trad wife TikTokers are saying every woman’s place is in their home,” influencer Estee Williams retorted on her social media account.
“We as individuals are just choosing to be home makers.”
“Trad wives also believe they should submit to their husbands and serve their husbands and family,” she continued.
“And that triggers people because the word[s] ‘submit’ and ‘serve’ – it makes women think that we’re saying we’re less than a man. That’s not what we’re saying. Trad wives just believe that they are here as women for a different role [to men], equally as important though.”
From trad wife to new life, Meredyth had to start again
Meredyth warns that trad wife influencers are not sharing the whole picture.
Growing up in the midwest of America, she was encouraged by her family to dedicate her life to raising her children, and saw it as a badge of honour. She had started studying but stopped when marrying and having children in her early 20s.
“Being a traditional housewife was really glorified,” she told The Feed.
“But unfortunately that’s not really valued [in America] when splitting assets.”
“Looking back, it really infuriates me that my dad valued me being a stay-at-home mum,” she told The Feed.
“But [he] didn’t come in and say, ‘You make sure you get your own, and what you need from this marriage, because no one’s in to make sure that you’re protected’.”
Discovering she had breast cancer in her mid-20s led her to re-evaluate the marriage. She and her husband separated amicably but upon the split, she found she needed to start again, and needed her ex-husband to co-sign for her home.
Suddenly, she had to complete her higher education while juggling small children, with limited work experience to draw from.
She fears for how much reliance she put in her former husband, rather than engaging in the decisions he was making for the family.
“I can’t tell you how much sh*t I have signed in my life as a wife, trusting my husband – thank God it’s been okay,” she told The Feed.
She now makes content sharing her experience, encouraging women to maintain some financial or education independence when marrying.
Ruby believes content that women like Meredyth are making “really exposes the kind of false promises of the movement”.
“In reality, [trad wives are] entering into this very disempowering situation,” Ruby said.
“If you bring into a power imbalance where the trad husband is just lauding over you, that creates more fertile grounds for things like violence to flourish.”
She believes content like Meredyth’s shows that “their economic survival is completely premised on another person”.
“And that’s a dangerous situation for women.”
